


ain't nobody to give a damn.

by soulofme



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 2 am writing lol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dialogue Heavy, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Married Couple, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi Are Siblings, Non-Linear Narrative, Texting, lapslock, this is a mess omfg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6897664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulofme/pseuds/soulofme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>eren cycles between good days and bad, days where he feels fine and days where he feels like he would rather die. the therapist says it's normal. everyone deals with loss differently, and even though some ways are healthier than others, they're all normal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ain't nobody to give a damn.

**Author's Note:**

> This is really shitty lol enjoy my 2 am writing. I barely edited it and I'm sorry if lapslock annoys the crap out of any of you.
> 
> The texts Eren receives are on the left side of the screen and the ones he sends are on the right (imagine what texts on a phone look like).
> 
> The bolded name is who he's talking to.
> 
> I tried to make it easy to follow but if I somehow fucked that up please tell me and I'll try my best to format it better.

march 17, 2015

**jean**

-> yo

<\- yo

_seen 7:29 am_

-> how're you

holding up? _  
_

<\- i'm holding

_seen 7:29 am_

* * *

levi listens to mozart when he can't sleep. he's sitting at their counter with a cup of tea and his laptop, bags under his eyes and head drooping forward. he perks right up when he realizes eren is leaning against the doorway, watching him with tired eyes. wordlessly, he holds out an arm. eren walks forward and lets levi wrap his arm around his waist. he presses his face into the top of levi's head.

"go to sleep," eren mutters into his hair. levi pinches his hip.

"i will, sweetheart."

* * *

december 25, 2016

**mikasa**

<\- he would've been

30, mikasa

_seen 12:00 am_

* * *

levi likes playing with his wedding band. he runs his fingers over it, twists it, kisses it, lines their hands up so their rings click together. when eren gets lonely he puts another ring on his right hand and tries to mimic the movement to himself. it's never the same. he likes it when levi comes home, calls him silly, and does it just so that he smiles.

* * *

 november 29, 2012

**levi**

-> have you seen

my sweater?

<\- which one?

_seen 5:39 pm_

-> the adidas one.

grey with white stripes.

<\- ?? 

is it in the hamper

_seen 5:39 pm_

-> no

<\- i don't know what to

tell you. check again

_seen 5:40 pm_

<\- also why are you texting

me? you're literally downstairs

_seen 5:40 pm_

-> my legs are tired

<\- you're literally

a loser

_seen 5:41 pm_

-> you're a bigger

loser for marrying me

* * *

there's nothing special about the start of their relationship. they didn't know each other since high school, didn't meet through clumsiness, didn't do much but look at each other and decide that _hey, he's not_ _too bad_. historia says something about true love but no one pays attention to her because that's just silly. levi doesn't think true love is a thing. he thinks people find each other because there's no one else to give a damn about them but another person. eren tries his best to change that but levi is stubborn and he supposes he should be glad they even got married.

* * *

april 7, 2010

**armin**

-> hey, the gang's

going out for drinks

<\- ohhh right,

jean's birthday?

_seen 6:00 pm_

-> yes.

are you coming?

<\- lemme get changed.

not really presentable

now lmao

_seen 6:01 pm_

-> haha okay.

want me to get you?

<\- please?

_seen 6:01 pm_

-> okay.

mikasa's riding with levi

<\- who's levi?

_seen 6:01 pm_

-> her brother.

he's younger but

i think he's our age

<\- oh so 23

_seen 6:02 pm_

-> yeah

<\- nice!

_seen 6:03 pm_

<\- oh my god armin

he's like lowkey hot

_seen 8:59 pm_

-> who

<\- levi

_seen 9:05 pm_

-> oh my god stop

* * *

their first fight is about money. levi thinks eren spends too much and eren thinks that levi is too controlling. that makes levi mad, mad to the point that the tendons in his neck stand out as he yells, and eren feels like shit for the first time in a long while. they sleep as far apart as possible and eren doesn't make breakfast just to be petty. levi texts him from work to pick up a carton of eggs and eren asks if he should ask his parents for ten bucks because using levi's money is apparently an issue.

levi comes home, apologizes with a slice of chocolate cake from the bakery eren likes eating from sometimes, and they sleep as close as possible that night.

* * *

october 24, 2011

**sasha**

-> eren!!!!

<\- yes?

_seen 1:17 pm_

-> don't you "yes" me

you know what

i'm talking about

<\- not yet

_seen 1:17 pm_

-> armin said

you got married???

<\- yeah, try to keep it

on the DL please

_seen 1:18 pm_

-> how the hell am i

supposed to keep quiet

you know how i am

with secrets

<\- is that a me problem

or a you problem

_seen 1:18 pm_

-> don't give me that.

don't you think you guys are a little young?

you've only known him

for a year. you're not

even done with college!

<\- ok mom,

i'll go file for divorce

_seen 1:18 pm_

-> jesus christ

that's not what i meant!

i just want to

make sure you're ready

<\- he takes care of me

_seen 1:19 pm_

-> i've watched enough lifetime movies

to know this can

end very badly

-> but if you're seriously ok

then there's

nothing i can do

-> i sincerely hope

you won't regret this

<\- no one ever regrets

their first love

_seen 1:27 pm_

-> haha ok romeo,

whatever you say

* * *

erwin tells eren he's sorry one night over a three minute phone call. eren listens to him, takes in the apologetic tone, and doesn't think much of it. levi comes home, closes himself off from the rest of the world, and casually mentions in between bites of steak that he lost his job.

* * *

 june 9, 2015

**mikasa**

-> i'm sorry

that i haven't returned

any of your phone calls. 

<\- it's ok

_seen 3:33 pm_

-> it's been hard for me.

but i imagine it's much

worse for you

<\- you're his sister

_seen 3:33 pm_

-> you were

his husband.

* * *

levi applies for every job he can at first. he goes to the supermarket, the pharmacy, other law firms, anywhere he can possibly think of. eren would like to apply too, but he never finished college. he feels like levi resents him for that, but each and every time his husband tells him it's okay. over time, eren thinks the reassurances lose their conviction. 

* * *

january 13, 2015

**marco**

-> can i call you?

<\- bad time.

_seen 12:09 pm_

-> right.

do you need anything?

<\- my husband.

_seen 12:11 pm_

* * *

levi gets angry all the time. every little thing frustrates him, and he snaps even though he doesn't mean to. eren tries to be understanding, tries to give his husband space, but it's difficult when he feels just as angry. when he tells levi so, he storms out. he does that a lot now. he leaves without telling eren and doesn't bother answering calls or texts. eren eventually stops worrying when he doesn't come home.

* * *

march 7, 2013

**levi**

<\- found your sweater.

adidas,

grey with white stripes

_seen 9:12 am_

-> where was it?

<\- fell

behind the headboard.

you must've had it

on the bed.

_seen 9:13 am_

-> huh, interesting.

thanks.

<\- yup.

are you coming home

on time??

_seen 9:13 am_

-> hopefully

<\- ok

_seen 9:13 am_

-> i have to go now,

i'll see you at home.

<\- ok, i love you!!

_seen 9:14 am_

-> i love you too.

* * *

eren explodes one night. he asks why everything turns into an argument, asks why levi never wants to be around him, asks why they're still married if it's obvious levi doesn't give a shit about him. levi does that yell again, the one where his neck tendons stand out, and throws his hands up in the air. eren doesn't stop him when he grabs his keys, doesn't stop him when levi unlocks the door, and certainly doesn't stop him when he sees his car pulling out of the driveway. when levi doesn't come home to sleep, he assumes he slept out in his car again. 

he gets a call at three in the morning and finds out that isn't the case.

* * *

january 7, 2017

**armin**

<\- i read this book

at the library.

_seen 1:14 pm_

-> tell me about it.

<\- i don't

remember much

_seen 1:14 pm_

-> that's okay.

tell me

what you remember.

<\- her husband dies.

_seen 1:14 pm_

-> eren

<\- i think husbands

are supposed to

die, armin

_seen 1:15 pm_

<\- but that doesn't

make sense.

_seen 1:15 pm_

<\- if that's how it is

then i should be

dead too, right? 

_seen 1:16 pm_

-> please don't

do this eren.

* * *

levi had been driving too fast and crashed his car. the impact killed him right away. that's what the police officer tells him. eren doesn't cry at first. he watches the officer blankly, and the officer looks at him like he's waiting for eren to break. he tells him he's sorry, sorry that his husband is gone, and this little voice in the back of eren's head pipes up and says that sorry won't bring levi back.

(eren breaks when he sees levi's sweater on the couch, the grey adidas one with the white stripes.)

* * *

january 2, 2015

**sasha**

-> i'm so sorry.

<\- everyone is.

_seen 4:52 pm_

* * *

eren cycles between good days and bad, days where he feels fine and days where he feels like he would rather die. the therapist says it's normal. everyone deals with loss differently, and even though some ways are healthier than others, they're all  _normal_. eren doesn't like that word. normal implies everything is okay. normal implies his husband is alive and well and is still drinking tea and listening to mozart and wearing that stupid fucking adidas sweater.

but he's not, and life isn't normal because levi is dead and the tea is untouched and the laptop doesn't work and that fucking sweater is shoved in the back of the closet.

* * *

february 2, 2017

**jean**

<\- i'm sorry.

_seen 1:08 am_

-> for what??

* * *

february 2, 2017

**sasha**

<\- i'm sorry.

_seen 1:08_

-> what do you mean?

* * *

february 2, 2017

**armin**

<-i'm sorry.

_seen 1:08 am_

-> eren?

what is this about?

there's nothing

to be sorry for.

* * *

 february 2, 2017

**marco**

<\- i'm sorry

_seen 1:08 am_

-> huh?

is everything alright?

* * *

 february 2, 2017

 **mikasa**  

<\- i'm sorry.

_seen 1:08 am_

-> eren?

what's going on?

why are you texting

everyone this?

whatever's going on,

please talk to us.

we want to help you.

* * *

 february 2, 2017

  **levi**

<\- i love you.


End file.
